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The reality is he’s looking for love like the rest of us and afraid of what he’ll find.
The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.
He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my mind, this is an opportunity for growth because triangles are not good for people.
But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from an illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love life (if he’s up for it).
Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.